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How An Affair Puts Things In Perspective

September 19, 2012 by  

Sometimes an affair helps you find what matters most.

Like most of us, when you’re in a relationship you do your best to make things work. Eventually though, you find yourself losing touch with your mate for various reasons.

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Maybe he isn’t attentive enough. Maybe she isn’t as great a person as you once thought she was. Maybe your sex life is stale, or non-existent. For one reason or another, you begin to lose touch with one another and your shared goals. Before long, you find yourself wanting more…from someone else.

Then, the unthinkable happens. Although you love your partner, you find the intensity and passion you long for with another. Against better judgment, you fall for some aspect of this new person.

Whether it’s merely physical attraction, or something deeper, you give in, you taste desire and embrace the whirlwind an affair undoubtedly offers. Before long, you’re guilt-ridden wondering how you ever got to this point.

When you look back on everything, you begin to realize that there weren’t any deal-breakers with your partner. You rack your brain wondering what you can do, if anything, to put the spark back into your relationship. For some reason, you two fell out of lust with one another.

Other times, your affair reveals that there was nothing physical that drove you two apart. It could be something as simple as a lack of an emotional connection. Unlike the guy you’re sneaking around with, your partner offers you no emotional connection. He doesn’t understand you, nor does he try to anymore.

In the past, your were faithful to your girlfriend. You’ve even talked to her and confronted her about your problems, but nothing has changed. From there, you resolve that whatever happens is not your fault. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes an affair to put things into perspective, reminding you of what you have and what you would be giving up. No, I’m not condoning an affair. I’m simply stating the obvious.

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Sometimes, when you’re sneaking around, it could just be the thrill of someone new; it could be the excitement of carelessly having a romp in a strange environment. Nonetheless, when you start planning ahead to meet your new lover, when you randomly get that text message or phone call from your partner and you suddenly feel like a sleeze for hurting your boyfriend, you begin to take on perspective. You begin to have insight into how your reckless behavior is ruining your relationship. From there, either you regret what you’re doing, or you continue with your actions with guilt in tow.

Fabulous Bio:

my self portraitN. Meridian is the CEO and Founder of A Scandalously Fabulous Life. In addition, she is the author of No Crying For Elena, a proofreader, editor, YourTango Expert,  and freelance writer of various subjects. Her works have appeared on such sites as YourTango, BlogHer, Huffington Post Divorce, Workitmom!, and so on. You can follow our site on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

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