Behind Most Good Men Is An Even Better Ex-Girlfriend?

September 26, 2012 by  

When you think of yourself as an ex-girlfriend you often think of yourself negatively. You think of all the ways you failed to hold on to a relationship that wasn’t meant to be. Too often, you think of everything that went wrong because everyone usually criticizes the ex.

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Still, there’s something else you should consider. Believe it or not, all your work hasn’t gone to waste. You loved him. Pampered him, at times. But mostly, you did other women a huge favor.

We all know that what we do to form the men we long for in our quest to change him, rarely works out for us. In fact, it’s usually the other woman, the new girlfriend to come along, who actually benefits from all of your pain-staking work.

Every time you nagged him about being a better listener, you helped his future girlfriend. Every time you insisted he become less selfish and share the expenses, you made him a better man. Holding your ground, calling him out on his bullshit–most of the time–made him a better man. Because of this, he became a man who is capable of having a lasting relationship with a strong woman.

Likewise, every time you made him take responsibility for himself and his actions, made him help out around the house, or asked him to change your nephew’s diaper, you made him better equipped to be a great husband to the woman he will someday call his future. You’ve made him a better father to the children they will have together.

He was crafted, sculpted by another’s woman’s scorn, sheltered from another woman’s craziness, designed to become a better a lover because one woman took the time to teach him how to love her body from nose to toe. You taught him that it’s far better–for his safety–to get the f out of the way when you’re on a rampage.

He learned that if he gives you what you want, you will return the favor. You taught him not to take sides when you and your girlfriends are at it again. In fact, he knows to stay out of that conflict altogether, ensuring that he simply listens, nods attentively every once in a while and get dinner started because you’re just too pissed to worry about feeding him right now.

Not to mention, he learned to be sensitive to your needs. He certainly wasn’t born this way. The crude animal instincts he once harbored were bitched out of him by another woman–one of his exes. That’s why I can’t hate on a woman who did me and other women to come, a favor. So today, mark yourself as a proud ex. You’ve done your part.

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No longer should you feel the criticisms that accompanies your new ex status. Don’t kick yourself. You other ladies should stop hatin’ on your new man’s ex-girlfriend, too. Although he is a great catch now, he wasn’t born that way. So the universe and yes, his new girlfriend thanks you. For all the exes out there, hold your head high as you send your ex forth to become someone’s beau. Be proud of your work and what you’ve accomplished. Believe me, his new girlfriend thanks you for setting him free and promises to use him well.

Fabulous Bio:

my self portraitN. Meridian is the CEO and Founder of A Scandalously Fabulous Life. In addition, she is the author of No Crying For Elena, a proofreader, editor, YourTango Expert,  and freelance writer of various subjects. Her works have appeared on such sites as YourTango, BlogHer, Huffington Post Divorce, Workitmom!, and so on. You can follow our site on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.


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